Sky's Still Blue
by LoveandLearn
Summary: Derek woke up on a Tuesday morning in September to the bluest sky he'd ever seen. Little did he know that it was going to be the darkest day of his life. Trigger Warning: Story is centered around 9/11.
1. Chapter 1

Hi, everyone! I've got a new two-shot for you :)

I visited New York for the first time this summer and I can honestly say that visiting the 9/11 museum and memorial changed my life. If you've read my other 9/11 story, you may remember that I was a little kid in 2001 and heard the news through my school principal. Even though I was across the country, the attacks affected me and I never really understood or dealt with those memories and emotions from that day. Visiting the memorial exactly 15 years after the attacks finally gave me that opportunity.

It also made me realize how absolutely shitty my last 9/11 one-shot was. I really wanted to delete that and replace it with a new story that honors the details and feelings a little better. I have been asked not to delete that story so it's still up but let's consider this a replacement.

* * *

Derek groaned loudly when his alarm clock went off on Tuesday morning. He reached his arm out to turn off the alarm clock and then he rolled over to face his wife. Instead he discovered her side of the bed was empty and there was no note in sight.

"Addie?" Derek called out. That's when he heard retching coming from the en suite bathroom. He quickly got out of bed and went toward the bathroom. Luckily, she had left the door unlocked so he was able to let himself in to hold her hair back. "Why didn't you wake me up?"

Addison leaned back against the wall and tried to catch her breath, "You got home late and you're working again today. I wanted you to catch some sleep."

"Addie, you're more important than sleep. I stay up all night to take care of people I don't even know. I'd wake up to take care of you."

"I'm okay," Addison assured her husband. "It's just morning sickness. I mean, this is your child so he or she obviously has to make this difficult for me as early as possible."

"I don't make things difficult for you," Derek protested. "Not on purpose, anyway."

Addison dropped her head on his shoulder, "I know," she mumbled.

"I haven't even accidently told my mother or my sisters," he reminded her. He always prematurely leaked news to his family and it always drove Addison crazy.

"You can tell everyone in a week or two. We're two weeks away from the end of the first trimester, at least according to my calculations. And I've got my first appointment with my ob/gyn next week. If the appointment goes well, maybe we can tell your family early."

Derek grinned happily. He was going to be a father in just over six months. It was all coming together, his dreams and goals were all slowly becoming his reality. He'd graduated from the medical school he'd had his heart set on, he'd gotten the residency opportunity of a lifetime. He'd married the woman of his dreams and together they'd built a life together in a Brownstone he could only fantasize about as a child. "I'm thinking of getting creative with the announcement."

"Yeah?" Addison asked, prompting him to elaborate as she pushed herself up off the ground to continue getting ready. Her hair was already blowdried but twenty minutes retching over the toilet meant she needed to touch up her running eyeliner.

"If you want to make the announcement to both of our parents, we can mail them a box of packing peanuts and at the bottom of the box would be a framed sonogram with the caption 'Our peanut is coming! March 2002.'"

Addison smiled at the thought of that announcement, "That is really cute, Derek. But I don't know that my parents are into cutesy announcements like that. I may just avoid telling them until I'm showing and they ask. And I may get lucky and not see them until after the baby is born."

"That's unlikely, the holidays are coming up and we will probably see them once or twice, at least. And you'll probably be showing by then," Derek told her. "Hey, alternatively, the next time we go to my mom's for dinner, I'll just fill your plate with food and when people look at me I'll casually mention that you're eating for two."

"We've got some time, we'll figure it out," Addison promised, reaching for her toothbrush for the third time that morning. "You're gonna be late if you don't shower right now, honey."

"I showered before bed," Derek mumbled, reaching for his own toothbrush, resting in the holder between their his and hers sinks. "I'm gonna go start brewing the coffee. We'll skip any normal breakfast choices for just a piece of toast to settle your stomach, okay?"

"You can still have your cereal, Derek. You don't have to give up food just because of my morning sickness."

Derek shook his head dismissively, "That's not an option," he told her.

After getting the coffee brewing, Derek went back to the en suite bathroom to work on his hair while Addison got dressed. He denied it every time it came up, but in all reality, it took him just as long to do his hair as it took Addison to choose an outfit.

When he stepped out of the bathroom with his hair looking perfectly in place, Addison was half dressed. He came toward her, setting one hand on her hip as zipped her dress with the other. She turned in his arms and pecked his lips, "I love your private practice mornings," she admitted.

"What?"

"You just look so sexy on the mornings you head to the practice. You spend all that time on your hair and you wear the perfect suits. It's just so sexy. And not just because I'm hormonal and pregnant. I loved it before the pregnancy. Not that the hospital mornings aren't sexy. Sometimes I love when you just roll out of bed, pull on a pair of jeans and barely brush your hair."

"I'm just gonna spend all day in scrubs and a surgical cap," he reasoned.

"Which is also so sexy," she finished with a smirk as they made their way downstairs for coffee.

Derek dropped two pieces of toast in the toaster- one for each of them. He knew she wouldn't be able to hold down any more than that. "Addie, you need to remember to drink water. You're vomiting a lot and we don't want you to get dehydrated," he reminded her. "It's not good for the baby."

"I know," she mumbled.

"Actually, I'll hunt down your intern while I'm at the hospital and make sure he follows you around with a bottle of water all day. And cool it on the coffee- you know that it's a diuretic. What's the use of drinking water when the coffee is just canceling it out?"

"Derek," Addison smirked in his direction. "Can we skip the lecture, please?"

"Sorry. If I'm this annoying and overprotective of a fetus, can you imagine what I'll be like when she's born? She can never leave my sight."

"She?"

Derek shrugged, "Just a feeling."

"Based on what?"

"I don't know. I've been surrounded by women for my entire life. I assume it's just going to stay that way. Besides, I want a girl because a mini-Addie would be adorable."

"Well, it's the wrong feeling. It's going to be a boy," Addison replied surely. "Mother's intuition."

"We'll see in a few weeks," Derek replied. "I'd be happy either way. Hey- what were your plans today. You're going to the lower east side, right?"

"I've got a meeting with an attorney in the World Trade Center. I'm an expert witness in a malpractice case," she told him with a cocky smirk. " _Expert_ ," she repeated for emphasis. "And Savvy recently started working in WTC 6 so I'll probably meet her for lunch."

"If you two go to Windows without me…" Derek threatened.

"I'd never dream of going there without you. Besides, I'll be in the other tower. I'll be in the South Tower," Addison informed him. Windows on the World was a restaurant in the North Tower. Derek had proposed to her on the anniversary of their first date at the restaurant with incomparable views to New York city in the background. After the proposal, he took her up the viewing deck afterhours- an arrangement that had cost him a fortune- to give her uninterrupted use of any viewfinder she wanted.

"We'll probably do brunch. She's been raving about some place with the greatest mimosa she's ever had."

"You can't drink," Derek reminded her, earning a glare in response. "Sorry," he murmured.

"I know you're just trying to be protective, Derek, but I know what to do to and what not to do," she assured her husband. She leaned closer to im and pecked his lips, "Now I have to get going or else I'm going to miss my meeting. Leave the dishes in the sink, after meeting with Savvy I'm just going to go into work to round and just check in but then I'm coming home."

"Okay," he replied as he placed two plate in the sink. "I would do the dishes but I should get going too or else I'm gonna be late. I assume you're taking the subway and not driving all the way down there. Want me to drive you to the station?" he asked as they both stepped out of the house.

"No, I could use a little walk. It's only a few blocks, Derek. I've factored that into my time and some fresh air may help the nausea. Plus, I've never seen a sky this blue. And I happens to be on a rare day off. I wanna enjoy it." They both walked out the front door and Addison waited and watched as Derek locked the door behind them. Just as they were about to step off the last steps of their brownstone down onto the sidewalk, Addison gasped excitedly, "I'm off today and you're at the practice. That means you'll be home before 6:00. We can actually do something tonight without having to be rush to get home early to get sleep. We can do dinner and a movie. I wanna see Rock Star, it came out last week. Jennifer Aniston is in it. You know I love all things Jen Aniston. But I'm willing to compromise and see The Musketeer. That came out last week too and you mentioned wanting to see it a while ago."

"We can see anything you want," Derek agreed, leaning forward to kiss her goodbye, "Love you. Have a good day. I'll call you when I have a chance."

* * *

At 9:00 am, almost two hours later, Derek stepped into his private practice. His partner, Gary Hanson, and most of their staff were already at work and here were a few patients already there. But rather than focusing on work, everyone was gathered around the TV in the waiting room watching a breaking news story.

"What is going on?" he asked.

"Fire at the World Trade Center," his partner answered.

"Oh," Derek frowned. "A big fire?"

"Looks like it." the receptionist replied. "They say a plane crashed into the tower."

"A plane?!" Derek exclaimed. "This is why we shouldn't let every amatur idiot get a flying license. All of these small planes are crashing left and right. My brother-in-law got his pilot license recently. People like my brother-in-law should not be allowed to control planes."

"Your brother-in-law is a brilliant neurologist with more money than he knows what to do with. People like your brother are exactly the type that should explore that hobby."

Derek rolled his eyes at his partner. "You're obsessed with Archer," he mumbled only half-jokingly. "Sometimes I think you only took me as a partner to have a connection to my brother-in-law."

"That's exactly what it was Derek," the older man confirmed teasingly.

"It's in the North Tower," Derek observed. "Addie's got a meeting at the World Trade Center today."

"In the towers or one of the other buildings?"

"In the South tower."

"Oh," his partner casually waved, "They're not even talking about the South Tower. But getting home in that mess will take a while."

The conversation was interrupted when the live footage showed a second plane, a 747- not a small cessna, crashing into the second tower. The plane did not come out the other end, instead a large cloud of black smoke erupted from the building.

"My wife is in that building," Derek said under his breath. His face went pale and he felt his knees give out. He knew his partner was holding him up and then realized he was eased down into a chair as his eyes remained glue to the screen.

"Can someone try to get Dr. Addison Shepherd on the phone?" he heard his partner call out to the staff. "Her personal cell phone number is the first on our list of emergency contacts."

A few minutes passed and he vaguely heard a newly hired nurse whisper, "No answer, Dr. Hanson. Goes right to voice mail."

"Okay, keep trying. I'm sure the phone lines are jammed right now with thousands of people calling loved ones. Maybe your call just didn't go through to ring." He told her middle aged woman at the desk. He turned back to Derek who was staring intently at the TV screen, listening to all the information the reports were supplying him with.

"My wife is pregnant. 10 weeks. Our first," he said under his breath as he watched the replying footage of the plane hitting the building. The reports were announcing that the acts were now considered terrorist attacks, that another plane had hit the pentagon. Based on the time on the bottom right of the TV screen, it was after 9:30. He had come in just minutes after 9:00 and first heard the news. It had been over 20 minutes but time felt frozen, he still couldn't speak coherent, full sentences. He couldn't process the news.

There were people speaking to him, trying to offer words of comfort but he wasn't responding. What those people didn't realize is that Derek was so lost in his own world that he didn't even hear anything they had said to him.

Gary sat down on the chair across Derek, "Derek, she'll be fine. Your baby will be fine. Did you hear the reporter? They are evacuating the building. She'll get out and I'm sure you'll hear from her soon."

It was almost 10:00 am when Derek and everyone else watched in horror as the South Tower, the tower his wife was in, collapse down on itself and transform from a skyscraper to a large cloud of dust and smoke.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thanks for all of the amazing reviews! Since so many people asked for more than just two chapters, I decided to make some adjustments to flesh this story out a little more. Now I'm looking at 4 to 5 chapters but I'm still not positive on what the final number will be.

* * *

Everyone in the office watched as what little color was left on Derek's face drained completely. His breathing became labored and he excused himself into his office where he broke down into uncontrollable sobs. After a few unsuccessful attempts at calling his wife, he did his best to collect himself.

"I'm gonna head home," he told his partner and the two nurses waiting outside his office.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Derek." Gary protested. "Maybe you can stay here with us for a while. I would rather everyone stick around until we're all sure it's safe to go outside and head home. I think subways are down and traffic is awful."

"I'll walk."

"You're gonna walk four miles?" The older doctor asked skeptically. "Derek, I know you're scared and angry so you're not thinking clearly. I'm just trying to look out for you. Please don't do anything stupid and put yourself in danger. Just wait here."

"I can't, I need to go home. What if she's home?"

"Dr. Shepherd," one of the two nurses started softly. "She's not home. I tried calling your house."

"What if she's just not answering the phone?" Derek replied.

"We obviously don't know your wife as well as you do, Dr. Shepherd, but I've gotten the impression that she's not the type of woman who blows off responsibilities to sit home," the woman told him gently. "I'm not telling you that you shouldn't be hopeful but I don't want you to get disappointed by getting your hopes up over unrealistic things like finding her at home."

"I'm going home," Derek declared decisively before storming out of the office without his briefcase or coat. It took him two hours to get home on foot and he was sure that he'd walk in to find his wife's heels kicked off somewhere by the door. But the second he walked in and saw nothing of the sort, his heart sank.

"Addison?" He called out, still hopeful of a chance that she could be home. He scanned the living room and kitchen before running up the stairs, still calling her name. He walked into their bedroom only to find that their bed was perfectly made. He sighed heavily, all hope quickly dissipating. His breathing became labored as he headed for her closet. He stepped inside the walk-in closet, hoping to find his wife reorganizing her shoe racks but once again, he found himself alone. Before he knew it, his head was spinning and he didn't know whether to curl up on the floor and sob or if he should take his anger out in some way. The next thing he knew, his fist flew forward toward the wall beside the door, leaving behind a large hole as it fell to his side. He clutched his hand as he sank to the floor in tears.

He spent most of his day on the floor of her closet. His nose was buried in the oversized t-shirt that she had worn to bed the previous night- once his favorite t-shirt until she took claim over it. His other hand was clutched around a suede pump which caused him to audible gasp when she told him the price. He didn't move from his spot on the floor until he heard the front door open and slam such.

"Addison?" His voice piped up as he jumped to his feet and ran out of the room and down the stairs. He came to a screeching halt when the figured registered as someone other than his wife. "You're not Addison."

"No, I'm not. I was at the hospital. It's a mess over there, we've got so many people coming in and not enough hands on deck to keep up. But your partner called me and said that I need to come check on you so I left," he mumbled as he shrugged off his jacket and hung it up in the coat closet. Though he didn't technically live there, he spent more time at the Brownstone than his own apartment. Addison always teased him because though they had a Central Park view, Mark's penthouse condo had a city view balcony that easily beat the Brownstone. He reasoned that their house was more homey and he prefered spending time there. "Have you been crying?" He asked when he noticed Derek's red, puffy eyes. "Wait…" he paused as she pieces of the puzzle came together. "She wasn't at work today."

"I'm gonna go back upstairs," Derek told his friend. "Make yourself at home."

Mark quietly watched as Derek ran up the stairs and toward the direct of his bedroom. He sighed heavily and went to grab himself a beer from the refrigerator. He popped the top off the glass bottle and set it down on the counter after one sip to go check on Derek. Mark tiptoed into the master bedroom and noticed Addison's closet door ajar. Through the crack of the door he could see his friend sitting against the shoe rack with a shirt and a shoe in his hands. He wanted to step in to comfort his best friend but thought Derek would appreciate the privacy so we went back to the kitchen to continue nursing his beer. He didn't use alcohol to drown out his sorrow but he couldn't think of any other reasonable alternative at that moment. Almost as soon as he entered the kitchen the phone rang and he reached to answer it.

"Addison?!" Mark hopefully called into the phone.

"Mark? It's Mom," Carolyn responded from the other end of the line. "You're at Derek's house and Addison's not there? Where is she?"

"We uh, we don't know. We haven't been able to get in touch with her. I just now that she wasn't at work today and Derek is hysterical. He's in her closet crying with a t-shirt and a shoe in his hands." Mark paused, "Mom, I think I hear him coming down the stairs I'll have him call you when he feels up to it."

"She had a meeting with a lawyer in the south tower. She was the expert testimony for a case," Derek mumbled when he joined Mark in the kitchen. "She won't answer her phone. Gary called, he said he called all of the local hospitals and no one admitted anyone matching her description."

Like Derek, color drained from Mark's face. "I thought she stayed home because she was sick. Yesterday she was complaining for nausea all day." Mark didn't expect for his statement to cause his best friend to break down into a fit of sobs. Mark stared at him in shock, unsure of what to do to provide comfort. "Derek," he asked softly when he noticed his friend's breathing becoming erratic. He dragged him into the living room and got him settled on the couch. "Are you okay?"

"She was complaining about nausea because she's pregnant."

Mark's jaw dropped. He had his suspicious that his best friends may be expecting but hearing it still surprised him.

"We were going to share the news next week."

Mark's brain wracked for the proper response. 'Congratulations' didn't seem appropriate at that moment. "She's probably just having a hard time getting home. I'm sure she and the baby are okay."

"Who cares about the baby?" Derek sobbed irrationally. "I mean, I love it already and it is a very wanted pregnancy but it's just a clump of cells right now. Addison is a human being. If Addie is okay, we can try again. If Addison is not okay-I'd probably die when the news comes and babies won't really matter."

"Don't say that," Mark countered, squeezing his friend's shoulder reassuringly. "I'll stay here with you, okay? We'll just wait for her together. I know that Addison is going to walk through those doors sooner or later and I'm not getting up from this couch until she does," he said firmly, giving his friend a confident smile. "Mark Everett Sloan is never wrong."

"Mark, you're wrong more often than you're right."

Mark rolled his eyes, "I'm never wrong when it comes to you and Addison," he corrected. "I knew you were madly in love the second I first saw you together. I guessed you were going to propose before you asked me to come ring shopping with you. I spend more time in your house than I do at mine and I secretly suspected this pregnancy weeks ago when Addison boobs changed almost overnight."

"Why are you looking at my wife's breasts, Mark?"

Mark shrugged, and without missing a beat he said, "I'm a plastic surgeon. It's my job."

Derek ended up crying himself to sleep on the couch while Mark drank himself to sleep on the couch adjacent to him. Both jumped when they heard the front door open and close. Their eyes met for a split second before they both jumped to their feet and ran toward the foyer.

The second his eyes landed on his wife, Derek broke into hysterical tears. He buried his face in her neck and sobbed into her shoulder without being able to say a word. Addison tried her best to hold back her emotions and fears but she could feel hot tears rolling down her cheeks.

"I thought you were dead," Derek admitted. "You weren't answering your phone and I watched the plane hit the building and you were inside…" he rambled.

"I wasn't inside."

"What?" Derek and Mark asked at once. He noticed the fact that she was in unfamiliar scrubs but didn't mention it.

"I was feeling sick this morning so I turned back home. I postponed my meeting. I was walking toward the towers when the second plane hit. I wasn't inside. I tried to call but my calls weren't coming through and then my phone fell and got lost."

"You turned back home?" Derek asked. "Because of the morning sickness? Oh- I told Mark so no need to pretend around him." He added when Addison's glance shifted to their best friend.

"Yeah, I turned back because of the morning sickness."

"So our baby saved your life," Derek concluded.

"I'm really glad you're okay, Addie," Mark spoke up, coming forward to peck her cheek. "And congratulations. It wasn't appropriate to say earlier but I'm really happy for you two."

For the first time that day, Addison smiled, "Thanks, Mark."

"Are you okay?" Derek asked.

Addison nodded, "Physically, yes. Just a few bruises and scratches. But uh-" she paused to wipe the tears off her face, "I'm scared, Derek. I've never been that scared before and I just- I keep seeing it everytime I blink."

Derek comfortingly wrapped his arms around her. "You'll be okay, we'll work it out," he promised.

"I delivered a premature baby in an alley. The mother died before our turn came for an ambulance. I went to Brookdale with the baby, he's being transferred to Mount Sinai in the morning until we can find any living family to take him."

"I'm really glad you're okay. I was losing my sanity."

"He was," Mark confirmed.

"Let's get you upstairs, okay, baby? You just need to get to bed," Derek suggested softly.

"I want to take a shower first," Addison told them softly. "I'm covered in sweat, dust and blood."

Derek nodded, "Okay, you go shower. I'll bring hot towels up for you," he offered. "I'm making Mark stay here tonight for my peace of mind. I just have to get him settled in the guest room and I'll bring the towels straight from the dryer."

"Okay," she said softly before climbing the stairs.

Derek knew that she wasn't really okay. He knew she was traumatized and that he couldn't even begin to understand what she had been through. He didn't want to push her to talk but he didn't want her to keep it in. He weighed his options until he felt her climb into bed beside him after a very long shower. "Addie," he spoke up. "I punched a hole in your closet. And I got tear stains on a pair of suede pumps that you forgot to put away."

Normally he knew she would scream at him but she didn't say anything.

"I'm glad you're okay," he said again.

"The baby's doing well too," she said softly. "I had them check when I got to Brookdale. But I'm gonna try to move up the first appointment with my doctor just to make sure there are no latent problems that arise after today."

Derek's hand roamed to her flat stomach. He couldn't wait until her toned abs were lost under a perfectly rounded belly with his child just millimeters below his fingertips. "I love you," he said softly. "And I know you're not okay. I mean, physically, yes but you can't be okay after what you've been through. So when you're ready to drop the guard and talk, I'll be here."

"I need the guard up right now because I'll break down and lose control if I drop the guard and I can't do that today."

"I know," Derek mumbled. "But when you're ready, I'll be right beside you."

Addison wiggled over to Derek's side and rested her head on his chest. He wrapped an arm around her body and pulled her a closer. They both silently stared off into the darkness, neither able to fall asleep after everything that had gone on. Derek suddenly felt a wet spot on his t-shirt and then the silence was broken by an unexpected, quiet whimper.

"Ad?" Derek whispered softly, using the hand he had around her to soothingly rub her back.

"Don't let go of me, Derek," she responded, nuzzling her head against his chest for comfort.

"I won't," he promised. "I'm right here. You can scream, kick, cry and break things; do whatever you have to do to grieve and process and I'll still be right here beside you the whole time."

* * *

Thanks for reading! Reviews are highly appreciated.


	3. Chapter 3

I'd just like to quickly address a question left by a reviewer. The question was why Derek was not working and helping people at the hospital after the attacks. In the very first draft of this story (back when it was a one-shot) he did end up going to the ER to distract himself. However, as the story evolved, I purposely kept him home because he's only human and he needed that time alone to come to terms with his new reality. Additionally, in this story Derek is only contracted with Mount Sinai for surgery and he is a partner at a private medical practice. Similarly, Mark was at work at the hospital but after hearing of Derek's situation, he goes to his friend because it's hard to focus when the people you love are in danger or struggling.

* * *

Derek stepped into the master bedroom of the Central Park Brownstone he shared with his wife. He placed a hot mug of coffee on Addison's bedside table. He knew she was awake, she had been awake from almost an hour. He had gone downstairs to make breakfast for her and he waited but she never came down to meet him in the kitchen.

"Want me to bring up pancakes? I didn't put any blueberries or chocolate chips in so we can increases your chances of keeping it down."

Addison shook her head.

Derek took a seat at the edge of the mattress on Addison's side of the bed. "I called your ob/gyn's office. I was able to get you an appointment in an hour and a half. Dr. Collier is cutting into her lunchhour to see you after I told them that you were there yesterday."

"I don't want to go out today. I just want to stay in bed."

"Honey, staying in bed is not going to change anything."

"Staying in bed could change everything," Addison countered. "If I had stayed in bed yesterday…"

"If you had stayed in bed yesterday, you wouldn't have personally experienced a terrorist attack," Derek agreed. "But," he continued, "the attack would still happen and you would still have to grieve like everyone else in this city, and this country and realistically, like everyone else around the world. So in the grand scheme of things, it wouldn't have changed much."

"Derek, I feel safe at home."

Derek glanced away from her and out of their bedroom window overlooking Central Park. It almost looked like a normal day, perfectly greens trees, perfectly blue skies but he knew the park was empty. Like Addison, he knew most people were locked in the safety of their homes.

"Okay, I'll call the office back and tell them we can't make it."

She hadn't left the house for four days after the attack. On the fifth day Derek convinced her to get out of bed because he couldn't keep rescheduling her first prenatal appointment. He attentively staying by her side for every second of their first time out. He held her hand during the appointment and stared at the ultrasound machine in fascination and joy when the grainy image of his child appeared on the screen. When a second heartbeat became unexpectedly audible in the room, the pair discovered that they were getting not just one baby but two.

Derek offered to take as much time off as needed to give her as much security as he could. She turned down the offer and told herself that getting back to a routine would help her more than anything else. She returned to work and began seeing a therapist to help her process her emotions and fears.

But, as luck with have it, the first patient she had was, like her, a 33 year old woman pregnant with her first child. She generally tried to empathize with all of her patients but she knew it would be much easier with this women because their similar situations. Her heart dropped when she read further in the chart to discover that the woman was admitted to deliver a stillborn.

A small part of Addison wanted to pass the case to someone else. Her former resident, Richard Webber, always told her that she needed to learn to detach herself from patients. He'd once purposely let a young, father die on her watch after being shot during a home invasion. His story was all too similar to Derek's father's and it had caused her to become more emotionally attached than a surgeon typically should be. She didn't speak to him for a year after the incident. Richard had since moved to Seattle to accept a Chief of Surgery position in his old hometown but Addison knew that he'd lecture her for being too empathetic about the case.

"Are there are questions I can answer before the delivery?" Addison asked the woman softly.

The woman shook her head quietly.

"Okay, if something comes up just have the nurse page me. You're six centimeters dilated. We've already got you on pitocin so it shouldn't be much longer from here. Your nurse will page me when you're ready to deliver but she can page me earlier if you need me."

She quickly left the room and tried to take a deep breath to calm herself. She learned that her patient was among the people running down endless flights of stairs to escape from the north tower before it collapsed. She had been admitted to the hospital for a variety of reasons and her baby's health had slowly declined since that morning, despite all of the medical help and the improvements in her own condition. The fetal heart rate had disappeared early that morning and the attending on-call during the shift had began pitocin to induce labor to remove the stillborn. And Addison was left to pick up from there.

"Are you okay, Dr. Shepherd?"

Addison's eyes shifted toward the nurse at the nearby nurses' station. She slowly nodded her head, "I'm okay, thanks," she said with a convincing smile. She paused for a second before taking a few steps toward the woman to hand over the chart, "Can you please page my husband? He was here for a surgery earlier this morning but he may have left for his practice already. If he's still here, please tell him to meet me in my office. If he's not here, just have him call my office when he has a chance."

Just over half an hour later, Derek cracked open the door to Addison's office and quietly tip toed inside to find his wife curled up on the couch in her office. He moved toward her and took a seat on the small coffee table across from her. "Hey, is everything okay? I got a page from an L&D nurse and she said you look a bit shaken up."

"I delivered a stillborn today to a woman who was trapped in an elevator in the North tower the morning of 9/11. She basically crawled out of that building to escape."

"Oh," Derek frowned. He knew it must be difficult to be a pregnant ob/gyn, he knew she saw all kinds of things and knew of everything that could possibly go wrong. She always hated delivering stillborns but he could imagine that it was much harder now, and to add the fact the her patient was a 9/11 survivor only made the whole situation that much more heartbreaking. "I'm really sorry, honey, but you're okay. Our babies are fine. And we're going to do whatever we can to make sure it stays that way."

* * *

A week after the attacks, Carolyn gathered her family in the old Shepherd home. She was relieved to have all her child around her after a difficult and emotionally draining weak. Derek had been looking forward to the gathering. He and Addison had agreed that they would announce her pregnancy at the dinner.

"Addison and I have an announcement," Derek told his family. He was sitting at the edge of his seat with one hand tightly holding onto his wife's. All eyes darted at him and he swallowed nervously.

"You're moving," Elizabeth quickly assumed as Carolyn set the main course- a baked salmon- down on the table. Addison crinkled her nose as the distinctive smell of seafood filled the air and she did her best to ignore the churning in her stomach as the scent took over the room.

Elizabeth's husband furrowed his brows, "You're moving?" he asked doubtfully. "Derek, didn't that bigshot neurologist take you as a partner in his practice? You can't walk away from that. Staff Neurosurgeon for a major, renowned neurology practice! When will you get that opportunity again?"

"Oh, I know!" Kathleen exclaimed. "Because Addison has PTSD, right? It's understandable. I hear lots of people are moving away for a little while until they can find a way to heal."

Carolyn's eyes shifted from one speaker to the next in confusion. "Wait, where are you moving?" she finally asked when she got a chance.

Derek ignored the questions and reached for the bowl of roasted potatoes in front of him. He lifted it and scooped a spoon onto his plate. Next he turned to Addison and casually placed a spoonful of the dish on her plate.

"We are not moving," Addison assured, her eyes meeting Derek's as he scooped another serving of potatoes on her plate. "I do have a mild case of PTSD, certain things do scare me for no real reason but my therapist says it's normal and manageable. We discussed moving but that would just be running away from the problem and we don't want to do that."

The room went silent as the group around the dinner table watched Derek fill his wife's plate.

"Uh, Derek-" Carolyn finally spoke up. "What are you doing?" she asked while Derek placed two large pieces of salmon on his wife's plate. "I know Addison well enough to know she won't, and probably can't, eat that much food."

"Well, I'm gonna force her because she's eating for three now," Derek replied casually.

It took Carolyn a few seconds before the news registered and her jaw dropped. A glance around the table revealed similar reactions on everyone else.

"You're pregnant?" Nancy asked in disbelief.

Addison nodded her head in confirmation, "I am."

"Mom?" Derek prompted when his mother speechlessly stared at him. "You okay?"

"I'm fine," Carolyn insisted. "I just- A baby! I can't believe it! I've been waiting for this for seven years! I gave up hope of a little genetic goldmine baby."

"Two," Derek corrected. "Twins."

"They will be here in early March," Addison told her mother-in-law with a smile. "It's been killing Derek to keep it to himself."

"How long have you know?"

"About six weeks now." Derek replied. "I wanted to tell you ten seconds after I found out but Addie wanted to wait to progress further into the pregnancy."

"Well, we've known about the pregnancy for about six weeks but we only found out that we're having twins two days ago."

"You've known for six weeks and you haven't said anything?" Carolyn exclaimed. "I've been waiting for seven years! You know that the second a couple gets married the parents sit and anxious wait for grandkids."

"Mom, you have nine grandkids and a heavily pregnant daughter who could burst at any second," Derek reminded his mother with a vague wave in Nancy's direction.

"Yes, but none of them are Shepherd babies."

"Wow," 15 year old Amelia muttered under her breath with a smirk. "I never thought Mom could say a sentence that would offend 15 people at once."

"Derek is her favorite child, it's obvious that his perfect children with his perfect wife would be the favorite. Between his genes and hers, they almost engineered the formula for the favorite grandchildren."

"I love all of them equally," Carolyn backpedalled. "But all of you got pregnant almost immediately after marriage. I've been waiting 7 years for this!"

"We didn't want to rush into parenthood, Mom. I've explained that to you. Addie and I wanted to wait to establish our careers first; we wanted to really make sure we were ready to have kids."

"I know, I'm not criticizing, I'm just saying this one is different because I've been waiting for so long."

"I'm sorry, Mom, I just didn't feel comfortable sharing the news earlier. I see so many horrible things at work that it just felt safer to wait. And this last week has been really hard on me. I just needed some time but I'm so glad that you're happy."

Carolyn paused, "Wait, if you've known for six weeks that means you knew you were pregnant the day of the attack..."

Derek nodded his head in confirmation.

"My morning sickness was really, really bad that day." Addison told them.

"What?" Kathleen responded with a quirked brow and a glance in Addison's direction for clarification of the random fact.

"I turned back that morning," Addison told the family. "I had a 9:00 to 9:30 appointment. I left home at 7:30. I turned back before I got to the subway because the morning sickness was really unsettling. I postponed the meeting to 9:40 and went home to let the nausea subside. I got to Lower Manhattan around 8:55 and started walking toward the World Trade Center. The second plane hit the tower I was supposed to be in at 9:03. I watched plane hit the tower. And if my morning sickness wasn't so out of control that morning, I would have been in that building at that time."

"So you're telling us that your twins were the only reason you didn't make it to the twin towers on September 11th?"

* * *

Thanks for reading! Please review :)


	4. Chapter 4

Derek stood at the nurses' station drumming his fingers against the chart on the counter. He smiled when he heard the faint sound of heels growing louder with every step until she was standing right beside him.

"You paged?" She asked between breaths. "Why are you here? Today's not your surgery day. You're supposed to be at your practice."

"Why are you out of breath?" Derek asked curiously.

"I took the stairs," Addison explained. "And you kept paging back to back so I rushed."

"Why didn't you just take the stairs if you were feeling rushed?" Derek asked in confusion. "You're pregnant with twins, Addison. You don't need to take the stairs and walk the longer path to counter the weight gain. You're supposed to gain weight."

She always parked her car as far as possible to walk to her destination and she took the stairs at work when time permitted. It was nothing new to Derek but he didn't understand why she was still making things difficult for herself now that she was housing two tiny fetus inside of her.

"I've always taken the stairs, Derek. I don't know why you enjoy hospital elevators so much. Random people who could be carrying almost any virus from anywhere, the possibility of lingering bacteria on the buttons and handles no matter how often they are cleaned…"

"I don't enjoy them. I just think they are more efficient that running up seven flights of stairs when I'm in a rush."

"Derek, I really don't have time to discuss this with your right now. Don't you have a patient we should be discussing?" Addison asked in response, hoping to change the subject.

"I'm just trying to look out for you and make this pregnancy as comfortable as possible," Derek told her softly. "One of my patients was brought into the ER and they paged me over from the practice because she didn't want another doctor until I round tomorrow morning. Anyway, she had a benign tumor that we've been monitoring for two years now but she had a sudden seizure at work. She is 17 weeks pregnant and hasn't had any prenatal care yet. I need you to do a full prenatal work up to see if they're both strong enough to get through a craniotomy."

Addison nodded and reached out to take the chart from him, "Okay, I'll stop by and see her as soon as I have a chance."

"I need it now, Addie. She checked-in for the surgery, she's over in pre-op. We have the OR booked for two hours from now. That's why I paged so urgently."

Addison sighed, "Fine, lead the way."

Twenty minutes later, she stepped out of the patient's room and found Derek lingering outside the door waiting for her. She held the chart out to him and said, "You're clear to operate."

Derek smiled and leaned closer to her to peck her lips, "Thanks, Ad."

"I avoid the elevator now," Addison quietly admitted when Derek opened the chart to scan the notes she had made.

"What?" He asked in confusion.

"I avoid the elevator. That's why I took the stairs when you paged," she repeated.

"Why?"

"Because it's an enclosed space and if something happens I would have no way of getting out," she explained.

"You'd hit the emergency button and someone would come get you out. It happens all the time."

"What if something horrible happens to make the elevator stop? Fire, explosion, earthquake, shooting, another terrorist attack… A woman stuck in an elevator is never going to be noticed. But if I take the stairs, I would either get out or die faster. I wouldn't be stuck in an elevator awaiting possible death. And don't tell me what can't happen because there were many people who got stuck in elevators for hours on the eleventh."

"I wasn't going to say it can't happen," Derek replied softly. "I know it happened and I'm sure it's horrifying but you can't avoid elevators for the rest of your life, especially because stairs and pregnancy don't really go hand in hand. Especially not pregnancy with multiples. I know the bump is tiny now but it will get bigger and you may not even be able to see your feet. I understand that you're uncomfortable with elevators and you'd prefer to take stairs but that will only work for so long. Maybe we can talk to your therapist about this and see what he says."

"Why do we have to talk to my therapist about everything, Derek? You make it sound like I'm crazy."

"You're not crazy," he asserted softly. "I don't mean to make you feel like I think you're crazy. I just want you to get help because I know you'd never ask for it unless I make you."

"Derek, you can't make me do anything I don't want to do," Addison told him firmly. "I'm an educated adult capable of making decisions for myself. And you are my husband and not my parent. You can't tell me what to do and if you do, I'm not a child required to listen."

"I'm not saying I can make you…'

"Just drop it, okay?" She cut him off before he could finish. "I'm taking the stairs as long as I can and I'll deal with it when I can't anymore."

* * *

"Hey," Mark greeted as he entered Derek's office without knocking first. Mark normally showed up at Derek's practice unannounced and often for no real reason. Like Addison, Mark was employed full time at Mount Sinai. He occasionally considered joining Derek in the world of private clinics but he loved the hussle and bussle of the hospital. He knew that after his best friends had their babies, Addison would likely switch away from being a full time surgeon, to a private practice physician who specialized in surgery- like Derek. It would give them more time with their family but it would also leave Mark alone in a large hospital. He knew that if that were to happen, he'd cave and find an practice to join to be near his family. Sometimes he secretly hoped they'd agree to join him in a partnership to start a cooperative practice but he'd never brought it up.

"Hey," Derek replied, looking up from what he was working. "Lunch? Where's Addie?"

"She's in surgery. Emergency C."

"Oh," Derek frowned. "Well, I guess we can make the best of it. We can go to that sports grill that Addie hates and have wings while watching highlights from last night's game. I missed it."

Mark shrugged, "Sure, I'm up to anything."

As they walked down the block toward the sports bar and grill, Derek turned to his friend and asked, "Hey, you try to impress girls with fancy restaurants all the time. My anniversary is coming up. Have any recommendations?"

"Your anniversary is in March," Mark reminded his friend. "It's December."

"It's the anniversary of our engagement."

"You guys still celebrate that?" Mark asked in surprise. "Don't couple stop celebrating the pointless things after they get married? Do you guys still celebrate anniversary of the first kiss or the first date?"

"No, but all of our events are pretty spread out. My birthday is in June. Her's is in October. Our anniversary is in March. I mean we have small, casual dates regularly but I know she loves the big dates for special occasions so I insist on celebrating the anniversary of our engagement. We normally went to Windows on the World because that's where I proposed but we obviously can't do that anymore."

"So you want a similar place to replace it?"

"I don't know," Derek signed. "I don't know if anything's going to be the same anymore. I'm tried to create some normalcy but how can I do that when even a night out becomes a reminder of the worst day of her life?"

"You should ask Addie what she wants to do," Mark advised. "Maybe a new place to replace Windows will be harder on her than just staying in. Or maybe she has something else in mind."

"I can't ask her," Derek sighed. "Anytime I bring up anything remotely related to 9/11 we end up arguing and I don't want to argue with her. I want to support her and make this easier on her and she's making that impossible."

"You knew it wasn't going to be easy," Mark reminded him.

"Yeah, but I didn't think it would be this hard either."

* * *

"Derek," Addison mumbled anxiously, tightening her grip of his hand as they both stepped off the subway in lower Manhattan. She hadn't been to Lower Manhattan since September 11th and Derek had insisted on celebrating the anniversary of their engagement. It was their tradition to celebrate the event and to do it where Derek had proposed. They had to make some adjustment but Derek wasn't about to let go of that tradition.

"You're gonna be okay. I'm with you this time and I'd protect you at any cost," he promised.

"Why couldn't we just stay near home?"

"Because I didn't propose to you near our house," Derek replied.

"Well where you did propose is currently ground zero."

"I know, we're gonna go there."

"We are?" Addison asked unsurely, her heart rate shooting up as panic coursed through her veins.

"Yeah, I checked with your therapist and she thinks you're ready. Besides, this place is really important in our history together. And what you've been through here changed our lives forever. We can't pretend all of that never happened. We should face it together. So we're gonna visit ground zero because one of the best and worst days of our lives played out there. Then we're gonna catch a ferry and I've got a pocketful of quarters for you to use on viewfinders."

They walked a short distance to ground zero and as they got closer Derek could feel Addison stiffen. He squeezed her hand and when she turned her head to meet his eyes, he saw unshed tears glistening in her eyes.

"Addie," he sighed, stopping on the sidewalk to wrap his arms around her. "You're okay, we're okay."

He felt her shaking in her arms and held her tighter, "Addie, if you're not ready for this I'm not going to force you. We can skip ground zero and go right for the ferry."

"We're almost there," she mumbled as she wiped the tears from her cheeks.

"It's okay. If you're not ready then we can turn back and you don't have to worry about this today."

"No, you're right. We need to face this together." She took a deep breath and then glanced upward to meet her husband's eyes, "I'm ready."

* * *

The days went on, some easier than other. Days turned into weeks and months and Addison tried to shove the memory behind her as they entered 2002. She watched the ball drop in Time Square from the TV in her mother-in-law's house in Connecticut and she tried not to cry at the hysterically over the dedication in memory of those who lost their lives. When her family asked if she okay she just smiled and squeezed her husband's hand as she waited for the countdown and her New Year kiss. She hoped that January would give her the opportunity to move forward but deep down inside, she knew that was unrealistic.

Halfway through the first month of the year Addison stepped into the NICU and reached for the chart on the rack at the nurse's desk. She flipped it out as she walked toward the bassinet and froze when she saw her boss with an older couple standing there.

"Kirk, Heather, this is Dr. Addison Shepherd. She is the neonatologist overseeing your son's case. Dr. Shepherd, meet Kirk and Heather Allen. They're adopting baby John Doe."

"Oh," Addison smiled, "That's great, congratulations. He's been here for four months so we're all pretty attached to him. We all hoped that he'd be placed with a family to take him in and give him a sense of love and normalcy. He deserves that after all he's been through."

"Dr. Locke tells us that you delivered him in an alley on 9/11," the older man began.

"Yes, I did. His birth mother died soon after the birth. We haven't been able to find any other family. He was 9 1/2 weeks premature and we had trouble getting to a hospital. He had a rocky beginning but he's been fighting through every obstacle. Two surgeries and four months in the NICU and he's finally ready to go home. He'll be ready for discharge in two or three days. I'll go over his care plan with you then."

"I'll leave you alone with Dr. Shepherd to ask her any questions you may have about your son. Addison, I'd like to have a word when you're done. Come find me," Dr. Locke, the chief of staff told her before leaving the NICU.

"We can never thank you enough, Dr. Shepherd," Heather, the new mother told her gratefully. "How are you after that whole ordeal? I see you're family is expanding soon as well. Girl or boy?"

Addison smiled, "One of each, due in about two months. It's been really hard since 9/11 but my husband and I are really excited. We waited to establish our careers first and now we're both really excited. We love kids and we've been talking about starting a family since before we were married."

"My husband and I have been trying to start a family for ten years. Two miscarriages, one failed IVF, lots of hormones and even a couple failed attempts at adoption. We are so excited that this is happening. After so many disappointments our family is finally growing! We've been talking about names since this morning. We didn't want to start earlier and then get our hopes up if it didn't go through. Do you have names picked out?"

"Derek- my husband- I have had the names picked out since medical school," she chuckled. "Christopher for a boy, after his father whom he lost as a young child. We always said that our firstborn son would be Christopher, I always said any other child girl or boy would be named Carson. I love unisex names. Derek loved it...until we found out the second baby is a girl. He hates the idea of a daughter with a unisex name. Which is strange, considering he's married to a woman with a unisex name."

"Carson," the woman repeated. "I really like that. Mind if I pitch it to Kirk?"

"No, not at all," Addison smiled. "He's secretly been Carson to me for the past four months."

As soon as Addison stepped out of the NICU, she saw her boss, Dr. Charles Locke standing just outside the NICU pacing back and forth. She cleared her throat to catch his attention, "You said you had something to discuss with me?"

"Yes, the board and I have decided to call in some press when the baby is discharged."

"Why?"

"Because he's a 9/11 rescue baby. He would have died if you weren't there, Addison. He's a miracle."

"Are his parents okay with that? They just adopted him and I'm sure they want some space and privacy."

"We haven't asked them yet. We wanted to ask you first."

"Why are you asking me?"

"We'd like you to lead the press conference. Tell the story, answer a few questions, maybe pose for a few pictures..."

Addison stared at her boss in silence.

"What do you say, Addie?" The chief asked hopefully. "It is a great opportunity. The pregnant ob/gyn that risked her safety to help a woman and a premie just blocks from the World Trade Center. It will make you a hero and it will bring attention to the hospital!"

"You're trying to exploit the situation for publicity?" she asked her boss incredulously.

"I wouldn't say that. Yes, that does happen but you are a hero, Addison. You deserve that recognition. Forget the pictures, just one interview. Please."

"No," she replied with a sense of finality. "I'm not going to use the worst day of my life to promote myself or this hospital. I can't do that."

"Addison, I know you are pregnant and you're going through a lot but think about this rationally…"

"I am thinking rationally! I'm pregnant, not mentally disabled. I can still make informed decisions, Charles!"

"Of course, but you are thinking emotionally, not logically."

"The answer is no and that is final. If you want to have a press release that's up to you and the Allens but I won't have anything to do with it," Addison replied firmly. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have patients waiting on me." She walked away from him with a heavy sign. She kept waiting for it to become easier. It had been four months since the attacks and she still couldn't escape the shadow that trailed behind her everywhere she went. So much for a new year with a clean start.

* * *

Hey everyone! I have a question for you- what are you thinking of Addison's recovery process? Are there any milestones in her recovery and grieving process that you think I'm not covering? Please let me know because I'd like this to be as realistic as possible.

Also, it's looking like this _may_ go beyond five chapters but I'm still not sure. It depends on how the next chapter plays out.

Thanks for reading! Please review.


	5. Chapter 5

Derek stood beside his wife at the back of the elevator in Mount Sinai. It was March 2002 and he had already started his paternity leave from his practice but had come into the hospital to discharge one of his few remaining patients. Addison, who was 38 weeks pregnant, begged to join him. She was tired of being trapped in their house and she reasoned that if she were to finally go into labor, she'd be in the exact right place for it.

She waited for Derek in her office and he met her there after he signed the discharge forms for his patients. She was lying on the couch when he came in and sat on the small coffee table across from her.

"So, Dr. Shepherd, are you losing bladder control or are you just really happy to see me?" Derek joked suggestively.

"What?" Addison asked, her brows coming together in confusion.

"Your crotch is wet," Derek replied. "Like soaked through your jeans."

Addison's hand reached for the crotch of her jeans and her eyes widened when she felt the moisture. "Did my water break?"

"I don't know. Wouldn't you feel that?"

"I don't know. I've never done this before, Derek. And it's different for every woman."

"Have you been having any contractions?"

"Just pressure in my lower back every once in awhile."

Derek held his arm out to his wife to help her up, "I think you're in labor. Let's get you to L&D so someone can check."

He carefully helped her up and kept an arm around her as they walked toward the elevator. When the doors opened, he was relieved to know they're be on it alone. She hated crowded elevators since the attacks and she was obviously in no condition to take the stairs.

"Hang on, Ad, two floors, okay? And then we can get you in a bed and hopefully get you started on epidural."

Addison squeezed his hand anxiously, causing him to wrap an arm around her waist and pull her closer. She buried her face in his neck and squeezed her eyes shut, "I don't want to do this today," she whispered.

"You've been nagging them to get out for two weeks."

"Yeah, on any day but today."

"What's wrong with today?"

"It's March 11th."

"We don't like March 11th?"

"No," Addison mumbled.

"Why?"

"It's the 6 month anniversary, Derek."

"Oh," Derek frowned. "Honey, it's not like it's the first anniversary. The 6 month mark may matter this year but this is the only year it will matter. No one is going to commemorate the fallen on March 11th moving forward."

"I don't want my kids to be associated to the most terrifying day of my life, Derek."

Derek sighed, "Honey, they already are. You would have died if it weren't for them. There have been lots of associations to that day. Just days after the twin towers fell, we found out we're having twins."

"You're not helping,"

Derek frowned, "I'm sorry," he offered as he carefully guided her toward the elevator.

"I don't want to take the elevator."

"Addie, you're in labor. If a contraction hits you right now we're gonna have a hard time keeping you upright, let alone down a staircase. I know you have a hard time with elevators but we need to do what's best for our kids, right? And the elevator is safe right now than the stairs. ANd I'll be with you the whole time, okay? Just you and me and you know I'd do anything to protect you."

She nodded her approval just seconds before the elevator doors opened. They stepped on and he kept an arm around her waist to support her as they waited to arrive to the Labor and Delivery floor. He got her checked in and helped her change and get settled in the bed while providing constant reassurance that everything would be okay.

Neither of them expected the whole process to move so quickly. Within an hour of checking in, at 9:03 am, their first baby was born. Their second baby was born eight minutes later.

* * *

Derek had decided to hold off on calling their families, wanting some time alone with his new family but that didn't stop Mark from waiting impatiently in the waiting room for the green light to meet his niece and nephew. A large smile grew on his as soon as a nurse offered to take him to the room. He stepped into the private hospital suite where Derek and Addison were waiting with their newborn twins.

"Hey," he greeted softly as he approached the plastic bassinets, each holding a napping newborn. Then he turned toward Derek and enveloped him in an excited, manly hug. "You're a dad!" he exclaimed before moving to Addison to give her a friendly hug and a soft kiss on the forehead. "And you made me an uncle! I mean, Nancy, Liz and Kat have a shitton of kids who call me uncle but I've slept with all three of them so it's a little more official this time around."

Addison chuckled while Derek rolled his eyes, "I thought we agreed that we'd never discuss what you've done with my sisters."

Mark shrugged, "It's not like I just said something that you didn't already know," he replied in his defense as she stepped back toward the babies. He grinned when he noticed one with open eyes, "Can I hold him?"

"Of course," Addison replied while Derek moved toward the bassinet to pick up the baby and pass him into Mark's arms.

"Uncle Mark, meet William Christopher Shepherd," Derek told him as Mark stared down at the baby in awe.

"William? I thought you were gonna name him Christopher. You've always said you'll naming your son after your dad."

"We changed our minds. We kept Christopher as a middle name and named him after the Fire Commissioner who died at the South tower on 9/11."

"Oh," Mark glanced up somberly and briefly met Addison's eyes. He knew she had been trying to bury those memories and knew it must have been an emotional decision for his friends to make to name their son after someone who'd always be linked to the tragedy.

"And our daughter is Katherine Nancy Shepherd."

"After your sister?"

"No, we named her after the first female captain of the New York Port Authority. She also died on 9/11. Ironically, she shares her name with two of my sisters. We didn't want to name our kids after siblings but this seemed very fitting."

"We're probably going to call her Kate," Addison added.

"That's really meaningful. I'm sure their families would be really honored to know you named your children after them," Mark replied. "I try not to be sappy or emotional, especially over babies but this is different. I kind of feel like an honorary member of this family and I was with Derek on 9/11 and I saw everything he went through. I think it's great that you decided to commemorate that day. I mean, without Will and Kate you would have died, Addie. There would be nothing keeping you from that meeting that morning. And without their namesakes, hundreds more would have died that day. I just think it's really fitting."

Derek smiled at his best friend, "Who would have thought you could be so deep?"

Mark shrugged, "I guess my new niece and nephew bring out my soft side."

* * *

The transition into parenthood was natural for both Addison and Derek. Their family swore that it was as if the couple was born to be parents. The twins made it easier for her to forget and move on. It was hard to feel lost and confused with two perfect babies to cuddle all the time. Much to their parents delight, the twins were easy going and happy all the time.

While most parents with infants were barely getting enough sleeping, Addison and Derek's twins were letting them sleep through the night. While most people complained about fussy babies, their twins were almost always content. So while some claimed that the Shepherds' transition into parenthood was because they were great with kids, they knew it was really because their kids made it as easy as can be.

"Where are your kids?" Nancy inquired of the couple while at dinner at the Shepherd house. Her own baby was screaming in her arms as he waited for his bottle.

"Sleeping," Derek replied."We brought their play pen. They're in the living room."

Addison shook her head, "They're awake. I just went to check on them. They're both chewing on their favorite toys." William's favorite toy was a teething ring that rattled with movement, Kate's favorite was a stuffed monkey.

"They're awake and they're not making any noise," Nancy mumbled under her breath. "This demon screams everytime I try to put him down."

"Will and Kate are generally not big on screaming. Too much effort maybe," Derek joked.

"They love being held," Addison shared with her sister-in-law. "But they also like playing on their own, but close to one another. I think it's a twin thing, I don't know. We when put down them to play on their own they get fussy."

"Liz wasn't kidding when she said you two basically engineered the formula for perfect babies," Nancy replied as she passed her crying son off into her husband's arms.

"Nancy," Carolyn scolded, "Leave your brother alone. It's not his fault that your baby is temperamental."

Nancy rolled her eyes, causing another smirk to grow on Derek's face.

"Hey, Addie," Derek's youngest sister, Amelia- aka Amy- said as she entered the dining room with a smiling baby girl in her arms. "I think Kate needs to be changed."

"Do you want me to take care of it?" Derek offered. "You can just go get William before he starts whining now that his sister is gone."

"No, I'll get Katherine. You get William," she replied as she got up from her seat and moved toward her youngest sister-in-law to take the baby from her arms. She gave the giggly baby an eskimo kiss as she left the room.

Derek returned moments later with his son in his arms. The six month old had light brown hair and distinctive green eyes, looking very similar to the baby pictures he'd seen of his brother-in-law Archer, which he hated to admit.

"Derek," his mother started as soon as he sat down at the table with the baby on his lap. "How is Addison doing?"

"She's fine. You've been sitting next to her all night."

"No, I don't mean physically," she clarified. "It's just that the first anniversary of 9/11 is just over a week away and I know that can't be easy on her."

"We don't talk about it," he told his family. "We're going to the Hamptons that week. It's the twins half birthday and the sorrow and tension in the city is already difficult enough, we can't be around that day."

"Derek, running from it won't make it any easier," Kathleen, the meddling psychiatrist insisted.

"You know what else doesn't make it easier? When your family who doesn't understand what you're going through is constantly judging the choice you make," Derek responded to his sister. "We're doing what we think is best for ourselves and our kids."

"I'm not judging, I'm trying to help."

"We don't need help," Derek replied. "I know that you've been married longer than us and you've been parents longer than us and you've got twice as many kids as we do but that doesn't mean you know everything."

* * *

The years went and at some point, the the whole experience became a distant memory that neither of them ever mentioned. As time passed, the silence became overwhelming. Once a couple perfectly in sync, Addison and Derek suddenly found it difficult to understand one another. He was always working, she was tearing herself apart trying to find a balance between her career and their children. They stopped trying to understand one another and neither of them had the energy to fight out their differences.

"Did you see the news? They've been talking about the new World Trade Center. They unveiled revised design. It looks beautiful," Mark mentioned to Derek and Weiss while they were on their way home from a baseball game with three year old William.

"I saw it," Weiss commented. "Savvy's firm is hoping to be able to lease space in the new building. She loved working over there before the attacks. She hates the new space the firm got."

Addison had planned to meet Savvy for brunch the morning of 9/11. Savvy had called in sick after eating questionable sushi the night before. She cancelled on Addison via voicemail while Addison was on her way to the towers. Addison avoided discussing that day with her. They'd only spoken about it once and Addison had expertly changed the subject and made sure it never came up again.

"Addison always changes the channel when anything to do with the World Trade Center is on the TV. In December she threw away the newspaper before I even saw it because the cover story was about the release of the design for the memorial," Derek told them.

"Savvy used to have a hard time with the whole thing. She's okay now." Weiss admitted. "But she wasn't there. Addie was there. I can't imagine how difficult it's been for her."

"I thought she had moved passed that and learned to accept it," Mark admitted.

"We don't talk about it anymore," Derek told him. "We don't really talk about anything."

Mark frowned, he'd seen his best friends together at a family function just a week earlier and they still seemed perfect and happy. He knew Addison had always been able to hide reality behind a facade but he'd never realized that the trait had passed on to Derek as well. Mark had never gotten the impression for either of them that something was wrong.

The relationship continued to decline until two months later when Derek came home to find his wife in bed with his best friend. That had been the final nail in the coffin. At that point the couple knew that their marriage was beyond repair and the only option Derek had was to walk away, to run from his problems.

* * *

1\. Yes, I am aware that the twins share a name with Will and Kate of the British Royal family. No, that was not done on purpose but I think those two (and their kids) are pretty awesome so that was a happy coincidence.

2\. Lots of time jumps in this chapter. I hope it wasn't hard to follow. I just try to limit filler scenes so that ever chapter is relevant and sometimes it gets choppy.

3\. Two more chapters after this.

4\. Please Review! Thanks.


	6. Chapter 6

After catching his wife in bed with his best friend, with his children just down the hall, Derek left New York without a second thought or a moment of hesitation. It was a long time coming, he told himself. His marriage had been lackluster for years and he hadn't be happy in months. He needed the change and Seattle was a change. He never expected to meet a young woman in a bar and fall for her. He also never expected that his estranged wife would show up in his new life with divorce papers in hand. He took the document from her and promised to sign it and return it immediately and she nodded emotionlessly as if hearing those words didn't crush her.

Yet, somehow, the divorce never came. Addison, William and Katherine moved to Seattle and settled into a newly purchased home with Derek. Addison tried her best to make the most of her second chance but, deep down inside, she knew that nothing would ever be the same. Derek was trying to be the good guy, he was make an effort but she knew that he had doubts and regrets.

"Addison," Richard started as he entered the physicians' lounge where she was seated on the couch with her head in her hands. "I know this is difficult."

"No, you don't," she contradicted.

"My surgical department might explode at any second. Trust me, I understand your concern."

"My husband is in an OR next to a bomb, Richard. It may be your surgical wing but your family is safe at home. Your spouse is not in mortal danger. So no, you don't understand."

"It doesn't give you the right to yell at interns. I know you're frustrated but O'Malley was just trying to help."

"He can't help. You can't help. No one can help me right now. No one can say anything that's going to make this better. My husband will blow up into a fine pink mist if that paramedic exhales too heavily. Literally, one wrong breath and they all die. So leave me alone. You can't help."

"It's not a paramedic."

"What?"

"The paramedic isn't in the OR anymore. Meredith took over. She's holding the bomb in place."

Addison covered her face with her hands and sighed heavily, "Of course she is. He stayed for her."

"What?"

"To be near her, to support her. He loves her, why wouldn't he?"

"What?" Richard asked again.

"Derek is in love with Meredith, Richard," she admitted quietly. "He told me before Christmas but it's always been rather obvious. He says it passed but I know it didn't. He's trying to pretend it did. He thinks I don't see it but I do."

"Why don't you try talking to him and asking him?"

"He chose to stay in an OR next to a makeshift bomb, Richard. Doesn't that speak for itself?"

"No, he's Derek. He's passionate about his patients. He wouldn't risk stopping a surgery if it weren't safe."

"I was at the World Trade Center on 9/11," Addison told him. "I was pregnant with the twins and we were so happy. And that morning I was at the wrong place at the wrong time and it changed our lives. I was traumatized, I still am. But Derek supported me the whole time. He held my hand every step of way. He never left me alone. He knew I needed him and he was always there. He put up with so much… I cried all the time, sometimes for no reason. I yelled at him for everything because I needed to let the anger out. I struggled with everyday tasks like going on the elevator. He was there the whole time."

"Addison, this isn't the same thing."

"It is! He's doing the same for her now. She needs love and support and he's putting his life on the line to be near her and support her."

"He wouldn't purposely put you through what he went through," Richard insisted. "I heard stories about Derek's reactions that day and I know he'd never want you to experience that kind of torment."

"Richard, we're not that couple anymore. We're over. We're just too stubborn to admit that."

"You're not over."

"I moved to Seattle and he promised to try. I have dinner alone with the kids four to five times a week. He's avoids spending time with me as much as possible. We just put on a front for the kids. And now his life is on the line and I can't function normally because this isn't how we were supposed to end. I didn't survive 9/11 for my life to turn out like this." It was the first time she'd uttered that thought out loud. She often pondered how much easier things would have been for Derek if she'd died that morning in Lower Manhattan like so many others. They were madly in love at the time and he would have been heartbroken but it would only be temporary. He'd learn to be happy again and eventually, he'd stop thinking about her memory and the whole thing would be in his past. And their wedding vows would be honored because her death did them part, not her infidelity. It would have been easier, she was sure.

* * *

"Hi," Derek said softly when he got home later that day and found her in front of the TV with a glass of wine. "The kids in bed already?"

"Yes," she replied before taking a long sip of her wine. "Katherine was complaining of a stomachache and didn't want dinner. I was just gonna put her to bed but William volunteered to go down early too."

"Oh," Derek frowned, surprised by the uncharacteristic behavior from his children. Like a true Montgomery, Katherine was a big fan routine and she hated breaking her routine for any reason whatsoever. William, unlike his sister, hated structure. He always tried to stay up later than his bedtime. "Anyway, I didn't see you when I got out of the OR. I was worried about you," he told her as he came to sit on the couch beside her.

"Were you?" she asked doubtfully.

"Of course I was. And I thought you may have been worried about me too. I thought you'd be waiting down in the lobby with everyone else."

"You used to worry about me differently," she pointed out casually.

"What do you mean? What are you talking about?"

"Well, I remember this one day almost five years ago that you were worried about me. You cried on my shoes and punched a hole in my closet. And when you saw me you cried for half an hour. Nowadays you keep yourself locked up in an OR with a bomb on the other side of the wall and when given the choice to evacuate you stay."

"Those were two very different situations," Derek disagreed.

"They were," Addison agreed. "Role reversal. This time I was fine and you were at risk of being blown up. I screamed at my intern, snapped at Richard and cried in public. Comparable to your reaction last time around. You chose to stay in an OR next to a makeshift bomb knowing it could go off and kill you at any second, not very comparable to my first instinct last time around. I ran. I had a reason to get away, I had a husband and we were starting a family and he needed me to make it home alive. None of that crossed your mind though. You stayed."

Derek silently reached for the bottle of wine on the table in front of them and took a gulp from the bottle.

"You'd rather die with your girlfriend than survive and come home to me," she pointed out the harsh lesson she'd derived from the events of that day. "Our marriage is over, Derek. We just have to be strong enough to see it and do something about it."

"Addison, you can't be asking for a divorce after the day I've had. You asked me to take you back, I took you back. What was the point if you're just calling the end?"

"I asked you to take me back and to give me a chance to show you how much you mean to me. I asked you to try to forgive me. I didn't ask for you to take me back and treat me as if I don't belong in your life," she replied.

"I don't act like you don't belong in my life," Derek said defensively. "You act like I don't belong in yours! You've been doing it for years! You're falling a part on the inside but you don't say a fucking word to me. I get to watch you like an outsider while you try to make some sense out of what's happening in your life. I'm your husband! You were supposed to let me help!"

"Derek, there are days that I wish I'd died on 9/11 because that would spare us all of this pain. Sometimes I honestly believe that that would hurt us both less than this," she told him quietly. "I can't live with that thought any more. I made mistakes, Derek. I know you think my biggest mistake was the affair but I don't agree. I think my worst mistake was the wall I built after 9/11. That was the beginning of the end for us, not the affair. Your work and my affair were byproducts of my facade. I'm sorry, I'm more sorry than you can imagine but I can't punish myself forever. I can't live wishing I'd died." she said honestly.

Derek sighed heavily. She was right. That Tuesday morning, which started as the perfect day, was the beginning of the end for them.

"I wish you talked to me," he mumbled in response after a couple minutes of silence. "I wish I paid more attention…"

"Hindsight is 20/20," she said softly. "We both made mistakes, Derek. If you can't forgive me then tell me and let's just end this before we hurt our kids anymore than we already have."

"I'm sorry too. I never saw this coming in our relationship. I didn't think we could reach this point. I don't know what to do," Derek admitted.

"You don't have to give me an answer right now. Just figure out what you want."

* * *

Addison quietly let herself into the conference room in Seattle Grace. She signed when she saw a room full of people with Richard talking in the front. She was fifteen minutes late to the meetings and she'd missed her mornings as a result of her late arrival to work. Her eyes roamed the seats until they landed on an empty chair beside Derek. She quietly moved to take the spot and he pushed a cup of coffee in her direction.

"Thank you," she whispered.

As soon as the meeting was over, Derek tiredly stretched his arms over his head and yawned. He turned his head to the side and watched as his wife rose from her seat to leave the room. He grabbed his files off the table and went after her.

"Why were you late?" he asked. "You weren't answering your phone. You know I always assume the worst when you don't answer your phone. I thought maybe you were still upset with me and needed some time."

"I am still upset with you," she told him pointedly. "I have the right to be upset over the choices you've made and the pain it's caused. It doesn't instantly go away because you apologized. But I'm not holding it against you and I certainly wasn't late because I want to avoid you. I'm not you Derek."

Derek's eyes widened at the comment. He swallowed hard and nodded, knowing that she was right.

"I was late because Katherine woke up complaining of a stomachache. She spent forty minutes in the bathroom. She seemed to be doing better afterward. We left the house late, the kids were late to school and I was late to work."

"Like father, like daughter," Derek smirked.

"I'm glad that you're proud of the act that you share the same defecating habits as your four year old," Addison remarked sarcastically as she walked toward the nurses' station to pick up the files for patients admitted overnight that would be in her care.

"No, but seriously, was Kate's tummyache just gas? Do you think she may have the stomach flu or something?"

"I don't know. She was okay afterward so I'm guessing it was nothing serious," Addison replied. "I have to make up for skipping rounds. I'll see you around," she murmured before walking away from him with a tired sigh.

He didn't run into her again until early in the afternoon when he was paged to the ER. He stepped into the elevator and found that she was the only other occupant. "You headed to the ER?" he asked when he realized they were headed to the same floor.

"Yeah, I just got a page."

"Me too," Derek told her. "I uh, I've been thinking about what we talked about last night," he began as they stepped out of the elevator and started rushing toward the ER triages. "Maybe we can talk after this, " he suggested.

Addison nodded, coming to a sudden halt behind Derek as they both reached to pull back the same triage curtain. "You're here too?" she asked in surprise.

Derek gave her a slight nod as he reached to pull back the curtain expecting to find a hysterical pregnant woman after a head trauma. Neither of them expected to pull back the curtain and find their daughter lying on the gurney in uncontrollable tears.

* * *

Super sorry for the late update. Finals threw off my timing for just about everything. Hope you enjoy the chapter. I didn't want to make things too dramatic but poor Kate (or Katherine, if you're Addison) had to take this hit for the story to move forward. 

Hope you enjoy this chapter! Reviews would be greatly appreciated. Thanks :)


	7. Chapter 7

Their daughter. On a gurney. In their ER.

They both stood there in shock, both needing a few seconds to wrap their heads around the situation. She's personally experienced the chaos of a mob injured and traumatized people trying to escape death and managed to deliver and tend to a premature infant without losing herself in the hysteria. He'd calmly stood near a bomb and operated without difficulty. They'd both had to make split second decisions for their patients in the ER and the OR. But neither of them had ever experienced witnessing either of their children in excruciating pain in an ER.

Addison was the first to jump into action. She pushed passed Derek and ignored the orders to wait outside while a team of doctors and nurses tended to her daughter. She moved toward the little girl's side and took her hand.

"What's wrong?" she asked desperately.

"It hurts," the little girl sobbed in response.

"Your tummy?" Addison asked softly and earned a nod in response. "Did you try going to bathroom again, sweetie? I think you ate something that didn't agree with you."

"It's not the same," the little cried. "It's worse than this morning. It's worse!"

"Okay," Addison nodded understandingly. "Maybe you can try to calm down and tell the doctors what you're feeling so they can help you," she suggested as she wiped tears away from her daughter's face with her thumb.

"It hurts!" the little repeated.

"Have you given her anything for the pain?" Derek asked the intern.

"No, sir,"

If looks could kill, Derek's glare would have murdered the intern. "Get her something for the pain," Derek ordered the nurse.

"What would you like me to push, Doctor?" a nearby nurse asked him.

Derek looked to Addison for answer, "Addie," he asked. She had significantly more experience in pediatrics and he trusted her judgement more than his own.

"Push .07 of morphine. And page Dr. Fulton from Peds," Addison responded. She glanced down at her daughter and leaned toward her to brush her lips against the little girl's forehead.

"You can squeeze my hand until your pain medicine kicks in, sweetheart," Derek told his daughter as he took her hand and gave it a reassuring little squeeze."Just give it a few minutes and you'll feel much better."

As soon as the attending physician arrived they started getting some answers. An ultrasound revealed that the cause of their daughter's pain was a burst appendix. The little girl was was rushed to the OR and Derek and Addison were escorted to the waiting room and left to pace the room until an update was available.

"Do you think we're cursed?" Addison asked Derek seriously.

"What?" Derek gave Addison a confused look, his brows furrowed together as he met her eyes. "You might be the most well educated woman I've ever met. You've spent a majority of your life studying science. Do you honestly believe in curses?"

"No," she mumbled. "But what else am I supposed to believe, Derek? That's three of the four members of our family. And two within a 24 hour period! I have half a mind to keep William in a bubble to protect him."

"Bad things happen, Addie," Derek countered softly. "It's a reality of life."

"It burst, Derek, burst. How often does that happen? Like never. And the daughter of two doctors, one being a pediatric surgeon, has a burst appendix. How neglectful could we be for it to get to this point?"

"I wouldn't call it neglectful," Derek backpedaled. "She's a kid. If we rushed her to the ER for every stomachache where would that get us? She hasn't been complaining of anything else, has she?"

"She had a fever yesterday before bed. I just gave her Children's Motrin, gave her a bath and put her to bed." Addison replied. "I drugged my child…"

"You didn't drug her. You did what you thought would be most helpful for her," Derek corrected.

"Did I?" she asked doubtfully. "Or was I just too caught up with myself to pay attention to her. I had a really long day. You were in danger, I was panicking about your safety but I had these thoughts that you're choosing to be with your girlfriend. I was a mess. I didn't really pay attention to either of them to notice that something could be off."

"Addie, you had a hard day. It's okay. She's going to be okay. She's in excellent hands," he soothed, pulling her gently up from her chair and into his arms. He felt her bury her head into the crook of his neck and sob quietly. She kept her arms tightly around his neck and felt his arms keep her tightly against it like a safety net. "You're a really good mom, Addie, and I don't know what I'd do without you. I know I may take you for granted sometimes but that's only because I'm an idiot and I don't always think things through. Everyone makes mistakes, it doesn't mean you love someone any less or that you were being neglectful. I should have left that OR, I didn't because I didn't think it through. I'm sorry."

As soon as Addison lifted her head from his shoulder she noticed a set of eyes and her and sighed, "Your girlfriend is staring at us," she mumbled. "Actually, everyone is staring at us," she corrected herself before pulling away from him to set back down on the chair she had previously been occupying. "I hate this, Derek."

Derek sighed heavily and took the seat beside her. "You know, at times like this I really miss New York. One phone call and our whole family would be by our side within the hour. Your dad would force his way into the OR and check on the surgeon to make sure his granddaughter was getting the best treatment available. Bizzy would pace a hole in the floor. My mother would try to feed us to make us feel better and my sister would talk our ears off to distract us."

Derek's description of their family was entirely too accurate. An unnoticeably small smile grew on Addison's face at the thought. "It would be easier than going through this alone with everyone watching us like we're from another planet."

Two hours later a nurse led Derek and Addison toward a post-op room where their daughter was recovering. Addison rushed passed Derek toward the girl and pressed small kisses to her forehead. "I'm so sorry, honey. I'm so, so, so sorry."

The three and a half year old's eyes fluttered open and she looked up into her mother's guilty eyes.

"Mommy?" she rasped out.

"Don't try to talk yet, sweetie," Derek warned his daughter softly. "You had a special tube in your throat to help you breathe during surgery. Your throat will feel a little scratchy and talking makes it worse."

"Are you in any pain?" Addison asked the little girl who shook her head in response. "Good, your surgery went very well, baby. You're gonna okay all better before you know it."

"Tummy was hurting," Kate told her parents softly.

"I know," Addison replied. "I'm so sorry that we didn't notice sooner, sweetpea."

"Go home," the little girl whispered.

"We can't get you home right now," her father told her. "You'll have to stay here tonight and we'll see how you're doing tomorrow. Maybe we can take you home tomorrow, if not, the next day."

"Will here?"

"William's staying with Aunt Adele. Daddy will leave soon to pick him up and I will stay here with you," Addison explained. They both knew that if they had been in New York one of their siblings would have taken Will for the night so they could both focus their attention on their daughter. But they weren't close enough to anyone in Seattle to make that kind of request.

"I miss our life in New York," Derek admitted after their daughter dozed off to sleep. "I miss what we were before everything fell apart."

"Me too," Addison agreed. "Do you think we'll ever be able to get back to that?"

Derek shrugged, "I don't know. But I promise, I will try harder this time."

They started marriage counseling the following week, and unlike the previous time, they were both serious about repairing the damage to their marriage. The family of four was able to find their place and build up from the ruins that their lives had become following a chain of horrible events. Time went on and wounds healed, and life in Seattle became routine and comfortable rather than unbarable.

"I'm turning forty next month," Addison cringed as she thought out loud.

"I turned forty last year," her husband reminded her.

"I know, I was there," she reminded jokingly. "But you've always been old."

'I'm only a year older than you," he reminded her. "If I've always been old then you've always been old."

"A year and nine months," she corrected with a smirk.

"Mom," Addison heard a little boy call for her attention. She set her wine glass down and she and Derek both turned around to see two six years standing in the doorway of the living room in the house they'd built on Derek's beloved land.

"Aren't you two supposed to be in bed?" Their father asked them from his spot on the couch beside their mother.

"We have a question," Kate spoke up as she and her brother moved toward their parents.

"Is that question if you can have a later bedtime?" Derek asked knowingly.

"No," William shook his head.

"If you can have a cookie before bed?" Addison guessed.

"No," both children said at once.

"Okay, we give up. What's your question?" Addison asked.

"Were you alive when 9/11 happened?" The little boy asked his parents.

"Why did that come to your mind?" Derek wondered.

"We talked about it in class," the dark haired little girl replied. "The anniversary is this week."

"We were alive when it happened. It was only seven years ago, guys."

"But we're almost seven…" William mumbled in confusion.

"Not almost, you've still got six months," Addison reminded her son gently. She already thought they were growing up too fast, she didn't need them to round up their age to make it harder on her. "And you were kind of around when it happened. You were in my tummy."

"Like Aunt Liz and her baby?" Kate asked.

Addison nodded. "Exactly like Aunt Liz."

"But I don't remember it, Mommy," William complained.

"You can't remember it, baby. You were basically the size of a little, tiny peanut and you can't exactly see from in there," she told her son softly.

"Oh," William mumbled in understanding.

"You wanna know something kind of cool?" Derek asked his kids. When their eyes went wide with interest he went on, "You saved your mom's life that day."

"We did?" Kate asked in surprise.

"But how? If we were only as big as a peanut how could we do anything to save you?" William asked.

"Babies sometimes make Mommies feel really sick while they are pregnant. You did that to your mom that morning. She was feeling nauseous so she was late to her meeting. If she was there on time she would have been in one of those big towers that the planes went into." Derek explained to his children.

"Really?" both kids asked their mother with wide eyes.

"Yup," Addison confirmed.

"That's so cool!" Kate exclaimed, climbing onto her mother's lab to give her a hug. "Do you have a cool scar like mine?" Katherine, being her mother's daughter, was very self conscious about the scar her surgery left. The scar had faded significantly but it still bothered her until she complainted to her Uncle Archer. He told her that scars were cool because they told a story. He pointed out the faint scar on Addison's forehead and told her how it had happened when she'd flipped over the handlebars of her bike while playing in their vineyard. He told her how he'd carried her home and even stood up for her against Bizzy when Bizzy became upset at Addison for ruining her clothes and getting a gash deep enough to leave a scar on her face. After hearing that story Kate's feelings about her scar changed. She was glad that it was in a hidden place and that it was fading but if someone did notice it, she was excited at the prospect of telling a story.

"No, I don't have a scars from that day. I was far enough away that I got away with a few scratches and bruises that healed up in just a few days. And I've got you two to thank for that," Addison answered her daughter.

"I'm glad we made you sick that morning, Mommy," William told her with a cocky smile. "I'll remind you the next time we make you really mad."

"You want to know something else that's kind of cool?" Derek spoke up and continued before either of his kids could answer, "You're both named after 9/11 heros."

"I thought I was named after my aunts," Kate admitted.

"You're named after the first female commissioner of the New York Port Authority. She helped saved lots of lives on September 11. And William, you're named after the fire chief at the time of the attacks. He also helped lots of people. They both died that day but they did something very brave that helped hundreds of other people live."

"That's so much cooler than being named after Aunt Kathleen. She's really boring," William mumbled under his breath.

* * *

On September 11, 2011, Derek stood by his wife's side at the opening ceremony of the 9/11 Memorial. After the ceremony, he walked with her to one of the panels at the sides of the south fountain. He put his arm around his waist and pulled her closer to him as she leaned over the panel to glance down into the fountain.

"Addie?" he asked softly.

"This is really beautiful," she mumbled as she stared at the flowing water.

"Yeah, and the Freedom tower is looking gorgeous. I can't wait to see the finished product," he said, glancing at the skyrise being erected in the sky behind him.

It was all mindboggling. Not too long ago there was something completely different on the ground they were standing on. She watched that come down into a pile of dust, debris and dirt and now it had been transformed into two memorial fountains, a museum and the the highest building on the western hemisphere.

She felt a hand on her lower back and then his voice broke into her thoughts, "You okay, Addie?"

She turned back to met his eyes, "My heart feels heavy," she admitted.

In response she felt his hand move from her lower back to her hip. He kept his arm around her and pulled her closer to himself. "You're gonna be okay."

"I know."

* * *

That's it! As with all my stories, here is a final chapter I rewrote too many times and posted way too late. I hope it was decent. Thanks for reading!

One last review would be cool.


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